SF Citadel Consent Policy


We believe our community should be truly open for everyone. As such, we are committed to providing a friendly, safe, and welcoming environment for all. This Code of Conduct outlines the expectations for anyone attending a Citadel event, as well as the consequences for unacceptable behavior. We invite everyone to help us maintain a safe, positive, and welcoming experience for everyone. Citadel has a zero-tolerance policy with regards to violating consent. We have the right to refuse service to anyone on any grounds. If you exhibit predatory behavior, up to and including stalking, aggressive cruising, assault and rape, you will be banned immediately. 

Scope & Applicability

The Code of Conduct, and all guidelines within it, applies to all attendees, speakers, volunteers, organizers, venue staff, sponsors, and other guests (collectively referred to as “Participants”) of Citadel activities, social gatherings, and classes.

By participating in Citadel activities, events, and/or classes, Participants accept the terms of the Code of Conduct, and agree to abide by them.

Attendee Expectations

The Following are rules that apply to all events at Citadel. If any of these rules are broken, disciplinary action will be taken, up to and including being banned.

Acceptable behavior includes, but is not limited to:

• Being considerate, respectful, and collaborative;

• Being awesome to one another;

• Refraining from demeaning, discriminatory or harassing behavior, and speech;

• Being mindful of one’s surroundings and of one’s fellow participants;

• Respecting the property of Citadel, and that of other persons; and

• Obeying all officially-posted signs, placards, and Citadel staff instructions. No touching people or personal property without permission.

  • Treat everyone as an equal regardless of body type, ability, race, ethnicity, country of origin, gender identity or expression, sexual orientation, relationship status, or religion/spiritual path. Only engage in verbal role-play if you have permission. For example, don’t call someone as “Mistress” or “slave” or any other role-play word unless you’ve asked if it’s okay.
  • Respect a person's personal space and privacy, as well as their right to say no to advances, conversation, overtures of friendship, or to express feeling uncomfortable. Should this happen, disengage and do not attempt to convince them they are mistaken about your intentions or actions.
  •  No one is exempt from obtaining proper consent. Everyone has the right to be free from harassment
  •  Party hosts and organizers may refuse participation by anyone at our events.
  • Negotiate the scope of your scene prior to the activities. Before the scene begins, it should be clear that all involved parties have given enthusiastic consent and actively want to partake in the proposed acts.
  • Each participant is responsible to make sure everyone involved has the mental and emotional ability to give informed and voluntary consent during their negotiation for the scene.
  •  We recommend that you don’t renegotiate in the middle of your scene. When a person is in subspace or otherwise not in a clear state of mind, you may not have informed consent even though they agree in the heat of the moment.
  •  Anyone can withdraw consent, make a nonverbal safesign, or use the universal safewords"Safeword"at any time. Once consent is withdrawn, the activity must stop immediately. Partners need to share what safewords or safesigns are being used to prevent consent violations.

Prohibited Actions:

Unacceptable behavior and materials include, but are not limited to:

• Intimidating, harassing, abusive, discriminatory, derogatory, or demeaning statements or conduct;

• Any offensive comments or behavior (verbal, written, or otherwise) related to gender, sexual orientation, race, religion, or disability;

• Inappropriate use of nudity and/or sexual images or use without the express consent of all parties depicted;

• Deliberate intimidation, stalking or following;

• Destruction, theft, dismantlement, defacement, abuse, or intentional misuse of Citadel or Citadel property, equipment, signage or supplies;

• Photography or recording without the consent of each person photographed or recorded;

• Sustained disruption of talks or Classes (whether verbal or otherwise);

• Unwanted or inappropriate physical contact;

• Unwelcome attention, sexual or otherwise;

• Being under the influence of any controlled substance or being intoxicated;

• Actual or threatened pushing, shoving, or use of any physical force whatsoever against any person;

• Possession of a weapon, or use of any item in a way that may cause danger to others; and

• Any boisterous, lewd, or offensive behavior or language, including but not limited to use of sexually explicit or offensive language, materials, or conduct; language, behavior, or content that contains profanity, obscene gestures, or derogatory reference to race, religion, or ethnicity.

Reporting Issues:

Unacceptable behavior will not be tolerated by attendees, speakers, volunteers, organizers, or Citadel staff.

Any person who is subjected to unacceptable behavior, notices that someone else is being subjected to unacceptable behavior, or has concerns about the safety or security of Citadel attendees or property is expected to notify the owner or manager of Citadel, as soon as possible.

If the owner or manager isn’t available, or you would prefer to report electronically, you can also email [email protected] Please note, however, that emails may not receive immediate handling.

Reporting a Consent Violation:

1. Alleged consent violations will be dealt with on a case-by-case basis. Anyone who feels they may have been violated may speak to the event host Manager or Citadel Owner privately, and with a promise of confidentiality if so desired.

2. With the permission of the complainant, the event host may ask for details about what occurred from involved parties and witnesses who are willing or able to provide information. The complainant may add further information at a later time if they are unable to fully articulate details immediately following the incident.

3. Someone who is alleged to have violated the consent policy may be asked to leave the event. Special consideration will be given to the wishes of the victim of the consent violation, though the final decision belongs to the Owner and Manager.

4. The event host will bring available information about any harassment, violation of consent, or reason for refusing participation to the owner and Manager with the aim to evaluate if procedural changes are needed and decide if further action is warranted. The victim may also choose to bring it to the Owner and Manager themselves if they so wish.

5. Regardless of any outcome, Citadel will not tolerate post-complaint shaming or retaliation.

6. Citadel Staff encourage anyone who experiences a consent violation which involves a member of Citadel Staff, to reach out to us. This will then be turned over to outside people. SF Citadel’s goal is to ensure that anyone, no matter who they are, is held accountable for their actions.

All reports will remain confidential

Staff will be available to help Participants contact the owner or manager, to provide escorts, or to otherwise assist those experiencing unacceptable behavior to feel safe for the duration of the of the event.

Resolution of Issues

Any person asked to discontinue behavior that is in contravention of this policy must do so immediately.

If the owner or manager determines, in its sole discretion, that anyone has engaged in unacceptable behavior, the owner and/or manager will take appropriate actions, up to and including expulsion from the event. Any consequences may be made by the owner or manager with or without warning or refund.

All determinations of appropriate or inappropriate behavior, and any consequences thereof, will be made at the owner’s and/or manager’s sole discretion. The decision(s) of the owner and/or manager are final